Self: Forgiveness

Self: Forgiveness

*No, that is not supposed to say "self forgiveness" 

This new series is something I have been wanting to do for awhile, I am still quite so sure what I want to feature in it but I suppose just "building" yourself, understanding yourself is what this will be about. Since this is a considerably "new", it is just a baby, which was indeed a random, useless fact. 

Forgiveness can be really freaking hard, depending on what or whom you attempting to forgive. For some it comes easy for others, not so much. On this topic I feel in order to forgive [others] you must forgive yourself. Because that's the way I like to bleeding do things in this joint, getting the hard things over with first and facing whatever else comes along the way. If you're like me, then this is for you. And if you're not, try something new. 

You sometimes hear people say "Your past doesn't define you". Well, for me it did. But I never carried it like a weight, I don't know why, it's just the way things have always been. Your past or regrets might be your own ball and chain in this situation, but one thing you must remember is that you're sad, you're upset, you're angry, and that's okay and you need to realize that. I thought of my past or the things I've done in a different way, I thought of them as sort of, stepping stones, they got me to where I am now, and I would rather be here then back in that situation. 

Look at how far you've come. You shouldn't beat yourself up about something you cannot control. Things happened that way because they were meant to be, they don't need a reason, they don't need anything, they just happened. Perhaps they did have a reason in another life, I don't like telling myself that though, I like to tell myself instead that whatever happens (or has happened) was meant that way. I need to be harsh with myself and realistic, if I get too hopeful I'll crash and I know it. 

Now, whether this thing that happened was a big thing to you or considerably small but still a bothersome weight, whether it was something you did or something you said, you need to realize you're only human. All of these will one day just become memories, stories and I know how depressing that sounds but really, try to make yours a good one, sure it could be one that people could look at and scoff at but if you enjoyed it, if you loved it then it was really worth something. Really. And the last thing you want to look back on is your regrets, think of all your progress, all the people you've met, all the good books you've read, all the gorgeous things you've seen. If you don't have one, then that's fine, perfectly fine, all that matters is that you've had this life, look at all those idiots and fools you've seen and heard of. 

You can't live your life dwelling and sort of, living in your past forever, you need to let yourself go for just a second, maybe even for a year. No, it's not going to be all happy "prance-prancy, gold-ribboned unicorns dancing in the moonlight" there will be days you wish you've never lived. But there will be times of such endless beauty, even if for a short time. You shouldn't let the bad things eat up the good things, sometimes they do, but that's okay, it's not your fault. And you shouldn't let the good things make you think that there will be no bad things, you'll only end up hurting yourself. 

Life to me, is really just stepping stones, some of it makes me cringe, some things I am still battling, but I am not letting them take over, why? Because it's the way I live. You may need a different lecture though, but I hope this one helped in some way. At least you read it:) 

Yours,

Lexi AKA LordoftheFridge

PS

wow, my posts are sometimes rather casual and slap happy, but this one was rather chill and counselor-yish. I kind of like it. 

But never mind that, look at this picture:

It speaks to me on a spiritual level.