Relationships: The OTHER

Relationships: The Other Ms. Or Mr. 

Stage One

* A topic of which I have no shame in speaking of 

* Perhaps this is more of a rant with a resolution though 

Hello, sugarshack. I wanted to talk about something thats been on my mind for awhile, actually. There are loads of stages to relationships, like this one. For you and I this stage shall be proclaimed as STAGE UNO. I, myself have been not a doer but a victim, or in other words the OTHER girl or HER of course I was completely unaware but I do have warning signs and whatever else to help you push along. I am a person of experience, meaning I feel experience is the best thing anyone can really do or have thrust upon them therefore, I speak from it. (Do you ever get those really random bruises on your body that hurt like the fiery pits of Mount Doom and you have no idea where in the name of Davy Jones' Locker they came from? I have at least three right now) 

Are You the Other Woman Or Man?

Sadly I have experienced this enough to speak of, but on with the warning signs and symptoms. So, you're either here right now because A) You're curious and suspicious  B) You've actually seen full-blown proof but need a little guideline C) You're undyingly confused about this person in more ways than one -or- D) You're an excellent planner and are reading about the warning signs are whatever else that's a complete and utter "package deal" or even the possible E) You're just bored. Now, I can't save you from relationships like these or even getting hurt BUT I can advise you while giving the good old one two. 

Things to look out for if you answered A-D (or possibly E)-

- You constantly see them chatting up other people- but if you do confront them about it they claim that it was just purely friendship chat and that they're married or in a relationship. 

- They seem distracted while speaking with you almost distant as though they are self-aware *unless if thats they're nature, see you really have to get to know and understand this person and they're typical behavior and I know that sounds unbelievabley creepy, because well... it is BUT it'll save you some feelings

- Their attention is always on someone else they probably find attractive-- and if you try to tell me it's because it's in their nature:

- They're clingy almost as though they're afraid to lose you *Now, this usually different for some people, but from my experience they always acted like they were afraid to lose me but rarely would speak to me for example through technology like they weren't quite putting through the effort. The person you may dealing with might actually set you aside for lots of things and claim that they are "busy" but when they talk to you in person they're all over that fabulous piece of human.

- They like objectifying the gender of which they are attracted *and sometimes are chauvinists* 

- They move on like water, as though they have no feelings about leaving someone, now this is typically the last stage you'll experience if it is indeed that you are the latter BUT sometimes you'll actually witness them doing that to someone who they had a little flame with. 

- You never really came to know this person or really understand them, it was more of a playful bit. 

I honestly can't think of anymore symptoms but if I do I'll be sure to update and whatever.

How To Avoid These Situations, Or Get Out Of One (oooh alliteration--almost)

If you're like me and can't quite tell people you're feelah openly because thats the way you are, then I suggest slowly distance yourself from this person, I know it's hard, its hard. That's why I said slowly though with time it'll pass and they will move on. What I would personally do is use technology to your advantage, don't start conversations anymore, block their updates on Facebook (it's possible and works like instant coffee) and after you feel yourself distancing then stop paying attention to them when you see them in public, yes you may wave and whatever else, I'm all about the time just don't use the time excuse because you're not ready because at some point they will be ready and will drop you like it's hot. If you're one of the people who are bold and brave then do as I would do if I were like you, approach them and talk to them about it, if they persist then ignore them. 

This Part Is The Part For People Who Were Hurt In The Aftermath Of A Relationship Such As This One

No I'm not going to sit here and blather at you because of how much of a fool I think you were, not today. In fact, I will help you out because I've been there and can relate. This is a healing process of which I can help and soothe you and be a virtual creepster.

Step One:

You're most likely hurt, angry, upset, confused, bewildered and disgusted. If you're thinking about that hatred e-mail, message or speech, I challenge you to hold off for a single day maybe even two, why? Because a lot of times when we're angry we'll say things we don't mean and end up feeling even worse. Just one day. Now for the rest of the day do what makes you happy or relaxed, yes it will hurt and you'll think of them constantly but remember this is square one it's suppose to be this way because we're humans, we have feelings towards each other and thoughts and emotions. Give yourself a spa day, or make this be a running day, make this be a hunting or game day. What I do when I've fluffed it is I dedicate an entire day to myself, I read and watch a trilogy of a movie or an entire series of a show while reading and drinking tea and switching on and off from that. I spend the entire day in nothing but my pajamas and treat myself to a face mask and whatever type of sweets or cravings I have. This may be different for you, you may like kickboxing, singing, dancing, reading, writing, hunting, gaming etc. whatever makes you feel at ease, do it. This is a day dedicated to your sassy self.

*Repeats welcome

Step Two:

Drainage/or venting. Let those feelings out, laugh at them for being such an idjit, scribble out your feelings for them in a journal, art out your feelings, yell, scream, shout anything, just stay away from that bottle of beer or wine or pain-numbing serum, you're going to get through this as a human and come out as a goddess or god you don't need those toxins in your, life you're miles better than that. I believe in you. Today, (depending on how many times you repeated stage one) may be a good day to think through what you want to say to this person, if it is you're feeling the conversation but if you can't bear the thought then don't. 

Step Three:

Forgiveness. Forgive that idiot and yourself. This can be one of the hardest stages to deal with, but you need to understand you're a civilized, cultured person with feelings and they clearly aren't. Try to see it from their mentally 2nd grader point of view. Laugh at them once again for a bit if it helps. Try--try to be a little understanding even if it's not 100%. 

Step Four:

Better. Now you're not better by this stage thats not quite what I was getting at, unless if you are, but try to do things in this stage that make you feel good about yourself. New haircut? Color? Highlights? Makeup? Clothes? Shoes? Beauty products? I want you to go out feeling like a majestic piece of mortal because you deserve it, especially with what that person put you through. No, you don't have to go see them like this, you can if you're prepared, but spend your fabulous looks out in the public for a spin especially if you're not feeling up to it--this is stage four, time to face the music *adjusts belt*. 

Step Five:

Something old something new. Try someone new, go on a date with that person you've been goggling at for AGES and if you really don't feel up to it, then don't and if you don't feel up to not doing anything but rather doing nothing, then go back to stage one I dare you. 

I hope this helped you!

Yours,

Lexi AKA LordoftheFridge

PS 
This picture was funny and I was laughing alone in my room and was hoping you would maybe do the same(?)